Sometimes in life it seems like we all suffer what I am going to call "dummy attacks " it's when we do things that don't make a whole lot of sense without thinking.

   Children are famous for it.  For example one of my former pastors kids was famous for running out side barefoot in the middle of winter or not wearing a coat......then the next day they would get so sick.....and wonder why..

    Well I kind of had one of those dummy attacks recently (no I didn't go barefoot  in the snow ect) something  even dummer than that

  I hope that a teenager or pre teen child will read this.....I recently posted something personal online on a christian forum ,of all places which had about 14 members in this one section of the forum.

Well you to have a certain amount of posts ect to get in.

    I  have above and beyond they post requirements and was posting in this forum (deppression forum ) when I made a poor choice of judgement and posted some  personal stuff .that 2 days later got me in deep doo ! doo ! someone had misinturptered the post and forwarded it to  well "The powers that be " and now my family and I have to deal with a lot of intrusive vultures.

   There is so much happening because of that mistake (and I am 34 yrs old not 14 )what I did you would expect a 14 yr old or someone younger to do. ,now my whole family is paying for it and I lost  my husbands trust in me.

My husband is a good man and our marriage was strong now it's a little strained but my sweet husband seems to love me enough to work it out.

    I hurt my husband deeply and even though I said I was sorry and asked God to forgive me  it's still hard for me not to want to blame myself and beat myself up

   But God in his infinate love ,grace and power is helping me forgive myself and I am looking forward to one day being able to us this mistake Or bad experience to help others.

    Meanwhile I must "face the music" as the saying says and suffer the consequences of my actions.

    Please pray that I will be able to lead those who are struggleing around me to Christ.

    One "good" thing that came out of this is not only am I Bi Polar/Manic deppressive (least I struggle with it)  I also have BPD (boarderline personality disorder )

    No I am not crazy ....just a little nuts LOL ! I will post more about

BPD (Borderline personality disorder ) in my next blog entry.....no I don't here voices ect.

Meanwhile I must go..........until next time !